Let us step into this night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure....
Scott: I found a goldfish in my bed earlier
Scott: and I haven't eaten goldfish in weeks.
Me: there is a jar a peanut butter jammed between my mattress and the wall.
Scott: oh god.
Scott: no one will ever love us.
I left the house at 5:45 this morning to go to work. I walked out the door and made sure it locked behind me before reaching into my bag and realizing my keys were on the kitchen table. I’m the worst.